The Unhappy Critic

Many of us find ourselves being critical of other people and life situations. We complain when someone drives while talking on the phone, we remark when the line at the grocery store is too long and store clerks are not properly deployed, we notice with irritation that someone was hasty, dismissing or rude. You might say that is a natural response and perhaps it is.

In my younger years I attempted to be a classical musician. As I advanced in my art I became more and more critical with the performances I was hearing. I became acutely aware not only errors of tempo, intonation and notes, but of historically incorrect interpretation, or what seemed to me to be a dull performance. Being a critic gave me a feeling of power and superiority. It made me feel good about myself even if I did not enjoy a performance.

What I noticed is that the world-class musicians who were my teachers did not function like that. Instead of finding fault, they were able to recognize the jewels in even a frankly bad performance. Whereas I had become a cynic, they found joy in the attempts of their students.

What I came to realize is that being a cynical critic is intellectually facile. It is way too easy to use hindsight, as it were, and objective observation to criticize others. Much more intellect is required to appreciate other's attempts at doing something, to understand and accept other's limitations, to understand that someone may be struggling with difficulties that are beyond his or her knowledge, understanding or control.

Making the shift from being a cynical critic to being someone who is understanding and accepting makes a huge difference in how one experiences the world and life. Quite simply, it makes one happier. You may not feel as powerful or superior but which would you prefer: to be a powerful and superior, unhappy critic or the person who can find enjoyment in most things and acceptance of the rest?